Move over, whiskey stones, overpriced candles and fuzzy socks you’ll wear exactly one (1) time  — a new millennial holiday gift idea just dropped, one featuring wine, hip implants, and a divorce attorney.

With the final days of holiday shopping upon us, middle school teacher @7thGradeChronicles headed to TikTok with the only last-minute gift guide we’ll ever need — one penned by his tween-age pupils.

@7thgradechronicles Its me. I’m 30s. #teachersoftiktok #teacher #teacherlife #teachertok #middleschool #middleschoolteacher #middleschoolteacher #middleschoollife #dyson #panerabread #tjmaxx ♬ Holly Jolly Christmas - Michael Bublé

“I asked my students: what do you buy someone in their 30s for the holidays,” he began his now-viral clip.

Despite the magnitude of this task — one that has long proved challenging to even 20-something zoomers like myself — his class rose to the challenge suggesting a truly spectacular array of Christmastime suggestions.

While several kept it simple with foolproof millennial catnip, signs reading “bless this home,” “expensive meats,” “a Dyson vacuum” and a mug emblazoned with the slogan “don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee”  — “they’re all coffee-obsessed millennials,” the student added in what is easily the read of the century — others decided to take a more direct approach, remind millennials that they are old. 

“You get them old people candies that smell like ‘home’ or ‘back then,” suggested one student.

“Wrinkle creams,” added a second.

“A bottle of wine and hip implants,” wrote another, while a fourth proposed giving “a lawyer for the divorce attorney,” taking care to offer the specific, parenthetical instruction of “fight for the kids.”

So Millenials, if you don't get expensive meats this Christmas, at least you have those whiskey stones from last year you haven't used yet.